yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
