I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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