i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
