I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Drake has all the answers
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
