Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
