he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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