This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's shark week go big or go home
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
