Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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