The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
