Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
