Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
