"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
