think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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