Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
