guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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