What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
