i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
