Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
