I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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