forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
