No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
