we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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