And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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