S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
