It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Girls should come with a carfax report
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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