After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
