well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
