So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
