we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
