Non-Jews are for practice
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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