So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
