I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this boner is exhausting
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
