she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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