FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
