ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize