You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
