Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
