grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
