You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
