I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
