This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
