Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
