yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
