So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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