Where did you get a picture of my penis
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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