nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Randomize
