Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
