why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
