I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
