I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
