Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
