pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
