been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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