neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize