your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
