Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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