How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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