Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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