yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
