I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
